Midlife Crisis. Mind and Love. Mental Health

Setting Goals at Midlife

I still feel disconnected from it at times; a yearning for outer achievements over inner growth; to accomplish the outwardly tangible that can add another ledger line on my resume; a desire to relive modes of being that worked in the past. There is a friction between the imprinted familiarity of my past and an inner calling to graduate to a new way of living and no longer be the hamster on the wheel, living by the memorized thoughts and emotions of the past.

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midlife crisis and transition. Hamster Wheel. Mind and Love.

Midlife: A New Mode of Being

I was feeling utterly aimless and frustrated. I didn’t want to replace old goals with new ones; it made me feel like a hamster on the wheel. Yet it was familiar; a mode of existence strongly imprinted in my mind; set goals and strive to achieve them. I didn’t know how else to live, but I was simultaneously annoyed by the seemingly inherent dissatisfaction that accompanied this mode of being.

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Relationships, Mind and Love, Mental Health

It’s Never the Toilet Seat

Most of us probably bury or ignore the annoyance or frustration. However, at some point these irritations exceed the arbitrary and fuzzily defined levels of personal acceptability; to the point where we can’t neatly tuck them away; where annoyance turns to anger and blame; when the façade fades and is replaced with bitterness, resentment, and negativity; when the small doses of poisonous thoughts that we could smoothly digest secretly without symptoms become a passive aggressive comment, or shouting and fighting; when the affairs within our minds become actual affairs; when our cheating thoughts become cheating in the flesh.

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Crying Masculinity, Mental Health. Mind and Love

Learning to Cry (Part 1)

Masculinity exists on a sliding scale. It’s not definite, it constantly fluctuates from moment to moment. If one of those moments afforded me to tip the scales toward masculinity, establishing my non-crying credentials would definitely have done the trick. Keep in mind, I was never a macho man and never felt the need to amplify those bona fides. However, everyone is different; a comfortable sense of self established by varying degrees of masculine validation.

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