I am 42 years old. I’m married. My wife and I bought a home a few years ago. We have no kids. I have reached many of the career goals that I set in my early 20s. I like my job; it never feels like work. I love my wife; she is supportive, loving, an inspiration and role model in so many ways. Based on these criteria, I’m supposed to be happy.
Culturally, we come to expect that if a person accomplishes X, Y, and Z; if they are married, have kids, own a home with the white picket fence, and have found career success, they are happy. They have won life; conquered it. Job well done! But I expect that many of you, like myself, feel a range of disquieting emotions ranging from dissatisfied to depressed. Right now, this very moment, I feel peacefully exhausted from digesting and releasing, earlier this morning, emotions of loneliness, aimlessness, and unworthiness.
Purpose of this Blog
This blog is an attempt to address the lack of purpose that has nagged me in recent years; an attempt to move and find direction. As much as I would like to say this blog is about you, it’s just as much for me; a man experiencing a midlife crisis. Here, in the open for all to see, I will reveal my thoughts and feelings in real time with the hope that readers will find some refuge and solace in the comforting realization of our shared experience; our shared humanity. In other words, we are not alone.
At times, my writing may appear raw or unpolished; it’s probably not thoughtlessness but evidence that I may not have worked through an emotion or an idea yet. While my inclination is probably to provide entries that are well groomed, I will not always spew perfectly digested nuggets of wisdom to solve the troubling questions of life because I certainly don’t have all the answers.
I’m guessing that the urge is born from insecurity, wanting to feel and appear smart, wise, and impressive (ie. someone whose got his bleep together). I will resist this urge in the hope of revealing the potential benefits of vulnerability; a pathway to intimacy to be fostered and developed with our partners, neighbors, friends, family, and the homeless stranger we cross on the street. Thank you for being here.